61.Wishes I could stab his heart and watch it bleed

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I'm so livid,and so upset....as if the wires in my brain are disconnected.Just what I fucking need when I'm trying to revise for a science test.A fucking distraction!I really do want to murder him sometimes,and its crazy.I could never murder him,he's my dad.He's hurting my mum,the family,and its eating me up inside.I cant take it,I want to inflict violence.....not neccesarily on him,it could be on the next fucking passer by.I dont care,as long as I get some revenge,some prevail and some sort of relief.I really cant take his bullshit,I have to sit and listen...there is nothing I can do to stop it.All I could ever do would just make the situation far worse.

I don't understand,how can he think the way he does?? Hows it even possible for someone to be so full of shit and hate?
I know you guys don't understand,its okay.....I had to get it out of my system though.
S