369.Wishes for a little Berry

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What comes to mind when we say fashion? A blurry word we use to describe a whole host of  changing undefinable things- an industry? clothing? a style? an art piece? a movement? Or the dictionary definition of fashion as 'the popular style of dress, customs ect at a given time'. Nothing  really encompass the multitudes attached to the word, but the concept of time seems important to them all. For me fashion has meant various things at various times in my life. At 9 it meant gel pen designs drawn for my imaginary fashion company S.S Styles (S.S being my initials, and alliteration my new favourite thing). At 13 it meant Vogue magazine and learning the lingo; It's GABRIELLE 'COCO' Chanel, Fashion HOUSE, ALEXANDER Mcqueen, Fashion Week, THE SATORIALIST. At 14 it meant bloggers and writing out my fashion wishes, whilst still dreaming the fashion designer dream. It also meant learning to sew seams and learning, re-learning my personal style. Now at 19 I'm surprised that I held onto the fashion designer dream for another 3 years. I'm surprised because that dream feels as if it's been defunct for a very long time. 

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Often tales of dreams are struggles, the dreamer battles obstacles until they finally succeed. What about the tale of changed dreams and drifting dreamers? I haven't given up on dreams, I'm just not interested in the fashion one any more. Nor would I use the word dream, instead I'd prefer goal. Dream suggests an uncomfortable sleepiness whereas goal suggests an awakened realization to the plausibility of the dream. A wake up has stirred in me the past months, oddly inspired by the fictional character Rachel Berry. I didn't expect to be stirred by the flawed but addictive T.V programme Glee, but then again I didn't expect a lot of things. Rachel's conviction to be a Broadway star has found me saying 'what would Berry do?'. Sure the programme and her character are outlandishly flawed, but there's something quite inspirational in the idea of trying every day to work towards a variety of goals. My goals are less fashion based these days. They're more varied, focusing on doing and finding out the things I love, rather than sticking to on one dream that no longer suits.

My wishes are still written here, the lingo has just changed. Dreams are out, goals are in.  Yet fashion, whatever it means is not completely defunct to me. I still sew seams, though I'd prefer to read WORN journal than look at Vogue.  And in the most obvious sense, I wear different clothes each day of the week.